Advice

I spent some time in meditation the other day, worried about work, being lolita, my relationship with my beloved, and a hundred other things. I received the following advice, with the instruction to share it widely--because it is not just for me, but for anyone and everyone who feels moved and inspired by it. Here goes:

Hold back nothing from your beloved. You are embarking upon the adventure of a lifetime. Let him drive; don't worry what you want. Share those things with him and with Me, but do not become impatient for them, any of them. Not the wedding, the marriage, or any of it.

Be like a lotus in a valley pool, content with where you are, where you are going, and the value you add to your surroundings.

I know you need certain things, but be unconcerned for the future. Strive to live cleanly, kindly, and lovingly right now. Strive to be content with all that you do have.

Take stock of what you have. Use it (do not lose it), for the betterment of society and humanity. Everywhere kids need your inspiration, but how can they be inspired if you have let the bloom fall off the rose? How can the young be inspired if they look at adulthood and see nothing they want?

Be yourself, because nobody else is going to be you. Nobody else has what it takes to be you--plus, they are all too busy engaged in the equally important job of being themselves.

Wallpaper your world with your own visions of beauty--who knows where this will lead?

You cannot leave your spirit dead and buried any longer. Begin to come out of the closet at any cost. Only by seeing you come alive can anyone else be inspired to come alive themselves. The time for toil and swallowing of sorrows is long past. Your task is to eat joy--to eat it so deeply that seven generations of your ancestors are nourished by it. They are here, watching their precious child, grandchild, great-grandchild and so on, grow up.

Your coming into your own power will be a cause for celebration the world wide.

Not-so-daily, not-so-lolita

Lolitas of a certain age are allowed to break the rules occasionally. Why? Because I said so.

Here I am in a Megan Maude dress (which she specially made for me), no petticoat, no headdress, no socks, with raggedy-ass hair. The dress, with its dark green floral print, pretty much commanded me to be worn this way, calling upon my inner late-1990's Calvin Klein to reject every accessory I attempted to add, including the bow that is supposed to be on the center front neckline. Anything I had added would have detracted from the very natural, earthy, yet still feminine feeling of the green fabric against brown skin.

I wouldn't wear it to a meetup, but there is something to be said for a "coordinate" like this. You don't get mistaken for a child, a cosplayer, or Little Bo Peep, and you can go about your normal day without attracting undue attention. The leggings-and-flip-flops crowd at Kmart won't bat an eyelash, and the fact you're wearing a lolita dress is your little secret.

The spirituality of expressing beauty

While some may deride the practice as a sign of vanity (and I'll be the first to admit I am a vain bitch), I do find a certain spirituality in dressing lolita. It probably goes back to being a young girl and my parents' weekly battle to get 3 girls under the age of 7 all dressed up in their best frills to go to church. Even though we behaved so badly throughout every service that my mom spent all her time alternately pinching us and feeding us Cheerios to shut us up, there was still a tangible holiness to being in God's house. And the effort we ourselves put into preparing for this experience was always repaid, because if I know nothing else about God, I know this: He gives back exactly what you give Him, whether good or evil. (This might be why I always felt so "off" straggling into church, sleepy and half hung-over in jeans and a T-shirt, while in college.)

Though I haven't been inside a church in some months now, I resonate with the idea of dressing and presenting yourself at your absolute best for God. There is a command to women in one of the Indian scriptures, that regardless of whether or not God has given you physical beauty, you should still dress and adorn yourself as though you were the most beautiful woman on earth. The book of Ecclesiastes confirms this command as well: "Let your garments be always white. Let not oil be lacking on your head," signifying to always dress in a manner that signifies joy, purity, and innocence. Is there any better way to do this than lolita?

My mom invited me to go to church with her this Sunday. Perhaps I will actually go, and wear lolita. I'll do it in the same toned-down manner suitable for wearing to work, and I'll totally pass under the radar among the army of perfectly formed women and fashionable little girls in A-line skirts and pretty blouses. Out of my wardrobe, Innocent World's Classical Angel print would work the best, seen here with some friends outside the Ba'hai temple in Wilmette:

It's not easy...

being a frilly Indian girl in a cruel modern world.

But somebody's got to do it.